It is often said these days that people are more stressed because we’re working longer hours, have 2 parents working, more single parent families, etc, etc. This despite all those labour saving devices. Well as I ‘forgot’ to floss my teeth one evening and the pangs of guilt set in (I could hear the tut of the hygienist) I thought about what my day might be like if I did all the things I’m ‘supposed’ to do. In no particular order these might be:
- Hygiene – brushing/flossing teeth, shower, hair, etc
- Eating – shopping for food, cooking decent food and eating slowly
- Sleep – getting a good 6-8 hours a night
- Relationships – spending quality time with family and friends
- Exercise – at least 3x week for an hour
- Self care – yoga/meditation/relaxation time
- Hobbies/leisure
- Domestic duties – shopping, cleaning, laundry, garden, maintenance, bills, etc.
- Working – plus commute to work
I don’t even have children and I’ve sometimes wondered how to fit everything in. In my manic moments I’ve found myself trying to make dinner, wash up and hang up the washing all at the same time. And then of course I realise I’m not superhuman as something goes wrong and I end up taking longer than if I’d just concentrated on one thing at a time.
I’m guessing that we place more expectations on ourselves than used to be the case (although I don’t know anyone who lived in the C19th so I could easily be wrong here). Through a greater knowledge of how other people live their lives, as we know more about what’s important for our health, as parents worry about the best way to bring up children, and as tv programmes and advertising promote certain idyllic lifestyles (e.g. cookery and home programmes), we find ourselves thinking ‘I should/have to do that.’ No surprise that people feel anxious, stressed, disappointed, left out and angry about the unfairness of it all. And to compensate we want things that make us feel good, like chocolate, a bottle of wine, meals out, nice holidays, nice clothes… After all, what are we working so hard for?
I love this blog – not a revolutionary thought, but very nicely said with specific examples that speak to every one of us. I have a horror of vague, abstract expressions like “managing time”. I don’t “manage my time” and I only floss my teeth when there’s a lump of roast lamb the size of the Bank of England in there.
I did know someone who lived in the nineteenth century very well – my grandfather who died at 95. Maybe more to do with his nature than his era, but he always pondered everything very carefully and once said to his 16 year old grandaughter, completely out of the blue, “What do you think of God?” I hope I rose to the occasion!
Great website with lots of useful stuff – thank you.
Hello Jane
Thank you for your kind comments and the story about your grandfather. I had a Great Uncle who was a priest and a Great Aunt who was a nun. I wasn’t christened (the decision was left up to me). This was a particular source of annoyance to my Great Aunt. When I was about 14 and we were at the funeral of another Great Uncle (big family!), as we stood by the graveside, she started asking me about whether I was going to change to a Catholic school and go to church. I felt at the time the timing was a bit off! She was a lovely lady though.
I’ve had a peek at your website and signed up to your newsletter. I’m looking forward to picking up some tips for my grammar. Looks like an interesting venture.